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A Child with the Legs of a Man

by Ian Miles

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1.
I've been out walking through the icy valleys where the gray devours all the light. Leaving us to wander against our knowing better. We could die in our sleep tonight. If we had dreams what would we see? The tired lines that run across our face? Hills of gold, with love? Her warm embrace? Your mother or the one who left you alone? So as I lay me down to sleep I wonder who it is you keep inside your heart as we say goodnight. For I keep you like these mountains of ice that carve the land all bereft of light and Hollywood sights. What do we see? The fire that I built to keep you safe displays my shadow as the one who walks away! The tired the lines that run across my face are hills of gold with love, your warm embrace. My lover! I'm the one who left you alone! Let the fire be the only sound you hear and go to sleep my dear, let nothing cause you fear. Let your heart be! The only one you trust! So when you wake set course my dear, go where you must!
2.
We were a bunch of children whose legs grew up and ran away from home and away from where we belong. we felt strong, but we were only children. We bought fire from men who looked like kings but quickly we grew unclean and alone. We carried on burning flags and leaving breadcrumbs. We traded our favorite toys for others' bedrooms. We left our souls while we fucked in silence. For what?! We thought there was something. Something brighter than the neon gods in tavern windows. We learned to forget our parables in the liquid twilight. We turned our radios up and learned to sing along! Tell me I'm a man now and I'll tell you I love you. Even though we both know, or at least we think we know, we're incapable of something so adult.
3.
You've been faking all your nightmares all so well I can see the blood in your teeth when you smile and I've been talking like a killer but walking like a priest when you come around. So take my hand and walk with me for just a little while. For our soft hands and callous tongues are weapons and beautiful songs. So when the liars revolt we'll all be free. I love you as a girl I see in windows when I'm walking down the street and I think, "What am I so afraid of? And who am I really kidding but me?" So I put my hands inside my pockets and keep counting all the miles that I walk away from you. Wondering if you saw me too. So when the liars revolt you'll be standing next to me singing I will never meet you but I'm sure glad I've seen you.
4.
First came the good news in the way that you said, "I am your home, I made you this bed." I fell asleep smiling, and I wasn't alone. Then came the bad news in the way that you said, "I am your home, I made you this bed." I fell asleep smiling, though I wasn't alone. No, I wasn't alone. I found your heart was an orphanage heart. You knew I was an orphan held my head as I wept I listened to your heartbeat under your soft breast. You said, "I am your home." I listened to you hum some beautiful song. It made me come, and it made me calm. You didn't make me but I came over a black country under a net of soft lights. All dressed up in clothes I thought you'd like.
5.
I found a test of salt in the eaves of a dream. My nerves fought to endure the rapid movements of my eyes, but the hallways and the stories my sleeping brain made up tangled tighter than the knots you tied me in your lies. In turbulent floral-print linen you become one with him, while I hang hidden outside of your window humming, "Let me go." Desperation is in the eye of the beholder and you keep one hooked right above his shoulder. On a bed sheet ladder in a dream your eyes are a color unknown to me. In turbulent floral-print linen you become one with him, while I hang hidden outside of your window humming, "Let me go." your tongue was sharp and sly and piercing in a way only you could. your skin was a poison that would kill me in a way that only you could. In turbulent floral-print linen you become one with him, while I hang hidden outside of your window screaming, "Let me go."
6.
This will be the last bloody night of rock and roll because you like Presley and I love Costello. I to the right and you to the left could turn and draw our guns, or I to the left and you to the right could turn our backs and run! Our lives and our hells run parallel. We could forget it or just settle it's just as well. We'll never intersect and we'll never be just fine if we keep using the lines that got so scratched into our minds from the songs we've heard so many times! This will be the last time we will lose control. I will not let this go. There are some things you need to know. I am afraid of attachment, but I am afraid of losing you. I am afraid of affection, but if you don't touch me you don't love me. You don't love me. This will be the last bloody night of rock and roll because you like Presley, and I love Costello. Bring me the heads of all of my ex-girlfriends all of my lost friends, and my father too. Bring me the heads of all of my future lovers I want to see them all twisted and screaming too.
7.
We can't reverse this but we can traverse this maze of sandstone. This canyon it speaks to your bones and you can regret your entire life if you like, but I'll be waiting on bended knee just to hear you say, "We have rehearsed this but our work is worthless! a few short years and then we all die alone?!" We are only sweat and only bone trying to make it on our own. But sometimes you have to say fuck it and throw all caution to the wind because like the river all things come back again. so what we throw away will throw us away in the end. I've talked to strangers and I've learned the dangers of killer turnpikes attuned to strips of road spikes and the evil cracks in the street marking my feet for my potential defeat: I'm fucked, I'm fucked, I'm fucked! I'm so lost I'm in no hurry to find my way home. So please don't tell me when you're going, just if you go.

about

This is the story of me realizing I'd been running away.

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released November 6, 2010

Ian Miles: All music and voices

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Ian Miles Spokane

Ian Miles is an independent singer-songwriter based out of Spokane, WA.
His Music has been described and "a little cool and a little weird – in a good way" and "very story-telling".
Sometimes mellow and bittersweet; a songbird at your window sill and at other times a thunderous full-throated roar of emotive stomping and hollering like a wild preacher of the end-times!
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